Is this Chicago time?

It was just going to take a few minutes. You dug deep into your pockets or purse and all you could find were a couple of quarters. Not giving up, you searched the ashtray, glove compartment and even under the seats. You found two more quarters a couple of stale Cheetos and a fur covered skittle. Great, that treasure hunt just bought you several minutes of precious parking time in the, “city that works”.

You make a mad dash into Starbucks to grab your latte. After standing behind Ms. Indecisive as she labors over her choice du jour, you finally get to order, pay the tab, get your fix and keep the change instead of tipping the barista so that you’ll have more quarters in case you need to park again.

Just as you round the corner, you see ORANGE!?! Yep, you just got a parking ticket. You plead with the troll that gave you the ticket, but all they do is point out that the meter shows expired. Then just to add insult to injury, they lecture you on obeying the laws of King Richard and his merry team of minions. It doesn’t matter that the meter is fast and that according to your watch, which is synchronized with the atomic clock and is accurate to within 1/1millionth of a second, the troll tells you to pay the fine.

“The hell I will”, you think! “I’m going to fight this! I’ll have my day in court!!!”

So you check the box that you’re contesting and write a brief fact filled description of what happened. You find a postage stamp, (almost as difficult as finding quarters in your car), and drop your ticket in the mail. “That’ll show em”, you think!

Imagine your surprise when a month later you receive a notice saying you owe double the fine. Sixty dollars! That latte was good and lord knows without it, you wouldn’t have made it through the day, but sixty dollars??

You request a hearing and in speaking to an “administrative assistant”, you tell them what happen. You mention to this stone faced assistant, that you mailed in your explanation over a month ago when you were given the ticket. They sarcastically ask, “did you send it certified mail”? Silly you! How could you not know that Chicago’s Postal system is as non functional as the rest of the city that works! And so it goes… Guilty as charged… pay the fine!

When are the next mayoral elections?

Parking meters are springing up faster than spring flowers in the “city that works”.  The Daley administration sold off the interest in parking meter revenue for the next 75 years to a private organization, (LAZ Parking, I believe it’s pronounced Lay Zee Parking). One billion something dollars we received. While I’m sure for right now, that money can go a long way towards bringing the 2016 Olympics here, (Daley’s master plan),  what does the city do 20 years from now? 50 years? 70 years?

The deal is that the city get’s all revenue from the parking tickets generated from the short times and excessive fees that the meters will be adjusted to. We as citizens and taxpayers in the city of Chicago, no longer have any power to complain about meter rates. I suppose we never really had any power anyway. The politicians never listened to us. They put up a good front around elections, but we don’t really have a choice of who we vote for in Chicago, the Daley machine decides who will get in.

So now when we complain to our appointed officials, they can shrug their shoulders and tell us that they empathize, but that they don’t control it. It is a private enterprise. Funny, I don’t remember voting on selling those rights to a private enterprise. Oh, that’s right, my vote doesn’t count anyway, how silly of me.

So now parking meters are being placed everywhere. There are no parking meter holidays and there is no Sabbath to keep holy. You must pay the meter every day! Seven days a week. 365 days a year! No exception!

So what if I don’t pay it? I mean, come on what’s a private company going to do to me? Ticket me? Well, now that’s the part that I’m confused about. The police are now meter maids for this private company. The police? I didn’t think they could work for a private company yet still be paid via tax dollars.  I guess Chicago is like Wonderland, you have to suspend all reason and go along with the Mad Hatter, (Daley).

So now with the city not bringing on additional officers, in spite of being short staffed Daley has decided to let this private company benefit from our tax dollars and use our police department as their own personal meter maids.  Ok, ok… I know they did this task before it was privatized, but now that someone else owns it, why do we, as taxpayers have to foot the bill?

I would hope that now with someone else taking this over, that our fine men and women in blue, (and the occasional 14 year old that can sneak in and play officer for a day),  would be free to actually patrol the streets and take care of criminal activities. But where is the profit in that I suppose. Gosh, living in Wonderland is confusing!

This is wrong in so many ways. Another of which is that monopolies are supposed to be illegal, (with the exception of governmental monopolies). Parking meters are now a monopoly! I don’t have a choice. If I want to park on a public street paid for by my taxes and maintained by the gas taxes reaped in the city, I have no choice but to pay what LAZ, (remember, pronounced Lay Zee), demands.

Well, I’ll show em! I’ll start to take public transportation! I’ll walk! I’ll ride my bike, (if I can find it)!  Say, maybe this isn’t so bad after all. It’s still a pretty sleazy deal, but perhaps, we  the people,  can actually make a difference by not using the meters! It’ll save on traffic congestion, gas, emissions and cause me to lose a few pounds. Now with each defiant step I take I’ll sing, I’m off to see the wizard…. oops, wrong fairy tale.

Check out The Expired Meter for more info on Chicago’s Parking Meters .